you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize