idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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