dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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