Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
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