oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
