no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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