this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Randomize
