He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Randomize
