Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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