were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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