Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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