His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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