I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Of course I have a pirate flag
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize