My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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