I want to make a zoo with you.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
