hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
