Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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