hell yes lets make some ravioli
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Randomize
