i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
