Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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