You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
