Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
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