oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize
