Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
