she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
