wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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