I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
