I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
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