dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
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