Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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