Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
foreskin is a definite game changer
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
