Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
