I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
he shaved USA in his pubs
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
should my penis look like a turkey
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
