some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
