Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Randomize
