Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I want a musical about memes.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
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