Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
