it hurts more in the daytime
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
