I think I am morally bankrupt
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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