you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
