He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize