the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
