I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
