I only kidnapped one of them. chill
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Randomize
