i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize
