He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
You need a sexual gate keeper
Send help, water and tortillas.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Randomize
