have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
