We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
