Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
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