You just made me feel so damn special
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
