Welp...herpes.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Randomize
