? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Randomize
