Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
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