My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
