I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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