And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
