Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
