ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize