i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
